Self-Portrait: Distorted Altered Image

The second method of drawing a self-portrait is complete.  This process utilized the Photo Booth program and the internal iSight camera of my MacBook.  Some insights:
This process allows for:

• Integration of technology into the art classroom
• Brings relevancy to contemporary art practices
• Low stress way of developing self-portraits (everyone looks weird)

This method of drawing/constructing a self-portrait was based on an approach introduced in Art Education, DeMarco (2010). Students, utilizing the photo filters available in Apple's Photo Booth program, were directed to take distorted pictures of themselves.  They picked out the favorite crazy representation of themselves.  Once selected, they began drawing the image.  This process is to assist adolescent students in working through self-consciousness and peer pressure.  "Everyone looks weird" (DeMarco, 2010, p. 38). 

Personal Feelings: "At first I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide- hide from the image, hide from the embarrassment of having to draw the silly self-portrait, and mostly hide from onlookers, shaking their heads in disbelief at my choice of subject matter (crap just leave me alone!)." However, confidence grew out of this endeavor.  I cared less about others and more about having fun developing the portrait. I felt redeemed and satisfied at the end.  Key Code: Cloudy, *, :-)

My findings: 

• More relaxed regarding drawing the portrait
• Difficulties: self-conscious at first when onlookers would question, laugh, or shake their heads at my 'weird' picture of self.
• Once work commenced, humor became a big part of the process, rather than critical/self-consciousness about the image.
• Difficulties: became consumed with replicating the image- to alleviate had to (a.) step back from it, (b.) let the image and work exist

Self improvement: 

• Learned to 'laugh' at the uneasy situation (onlookers dismay)
• Became proud of the work/a sense of accomplishment–embraced the 'craziness'-'weirdness'  
• Bolstered personal conviction to press through and meet the challenge   

Images of the process:
This is the original photo.
   

 This is the initial sketch:

Midpoint:

Completed work:

Final Approval - Moving Ahead

Well my research question has been finalized and approved. I begin my proposal.  Fingers crossed. 
Another Note:
I have decided to add another self-portrait and adjust the realism portrait.  I am researching both the ways artist/teachers approach the self-portrait with students to enhance self-identity, but I also want to include methods artists, contemporary and historical, have treated the self-portrait.  Since identity is more than looking at yourself, it is also looking to heritage, culture, personal tragedies and triumphs, I am going to include an 'outsider' artistic approach (Folk Art) reminiscent of Frida Kahlo's work.  I am adding a self-portrait that reflects either heritage or personal struggles/triumphs.  For the realism portrait, I am changing it to an extreme close-up, utilizing a grid system similar to Chuck Close's process.  However, I will use a grid system I learned in undergraduate studies; I find this grid much easier to construct and just as effective when developing an image. 

Whittling Away

I am really having a tough time reducing my research into one concise question.  I know that my interest is in discovering what, if any, the drawing of self-portraits has on developing a positive, self-identity.  Much research has stated emphatically that children gain greater insight to personal identity when they render self-portraits.  Through the autoethnographic process, I hope to gain a great appreciation in "how" this occurs.  What factors come into play?  Is it the method of drawing that causes improved self, or is it the 'act' of looking at oneself, close examination that causes change?  What factors, what essential elements to 'drawing the self-portrait' affect the outcome of improved self-identity (actualized rather than perceived by others)? This is what I'm thinking about.  NOW to write a question. I have so far:

1. How might drawing self-portraits assist in developing a positive self-identity?

2. Does drawing the self-portrait have any effect [positive or negative] on self-identity [actualized individual, unique qualities rather than perceived self]?

Final Superhero Animal Self-Portrait Image...

The first portrait is done.  Within the imagery, there is a list of my superhero skills, weapons, and weaknesses.  It is a mixture of some of my own personal traits, Wonder Woman's attributes, and a Hippo's facts.  This was a fun process. I enjoyed looking at myself, thinking on what animal best represents me, and incorporating my favorite childhood superhero. Key Code: :-), *, :-)

Classroom implications: A great way for students to self reflect but also learn about animals, and incorporate popular culture.  This might possibly make the self aspect easier to approach.  The metaphor allows students to share as much or as little as they deem necessary in order to effectively accomplish the assignment at hand.

Brainstorming Session - let the ideas flow!

Before I began drawing, I also did a "mind mapping" exercise. Within a one minute time frame, I wrote down any word, description, title that could provide a written self-portrait of myself.  It is the first assignment before drawing even gets started.  The list is going to be made into a sort of word collage.  I will post it when it is finished.  The funny thing is my first thought about me was, "Trained in CPR." Not pretty, likes to draw, painter, artist, ten fingers, ten toes...just "trained in CPR." Wow-

Thinking about: setting students up for success in art and possibly life

As I thought about the four drawing processes, I feel that the line-up should be:

1. metaphor self-portrait [superhero animal representation]
2. altered/distorted - building up a spirit of humor, acceptance, and a willingness to share with others. With a new sense of community and shared positive experiences, the final self-portrait art problem will be more accessible and lighten some apprehensions that would normally arise. Question: Do we ever see ourselves in distorted rather untrue ways? What causes that and how can we change it?
3. Folk/Outsider – This allows students opportunity to embrace ethnicity, culture, interests, special challenges faced in life, even feelings and emotions in their work.
4. Realism-Students as well as some teacher/artists do not like to attempt this process for fear of failure, failure to render a true likeness, failure to sustain interest, failure to be accepted or liked by peers (critique), and worry of harsh criticism. (vulnerability)

Alongside the art assignments, students are encouraged to investigate self, likes, strengths, skills, dreams, animal facts, superhero characters, and along with the realism process, students will be encouraged to journal for every bad thought or feeling of inadequacies they might experience, they must write two great things about themselves.  They must stay committed to the process.  And if they seem at loss for ideas, they are encouraged to ask family and friends to help develop even more lists of positive aspects of his/her self.  It is my theory that an investigated, informed process will further enhance the actual art made. Busy learning about self–actively drawing self-leads to a more actualized self image.

I will be the student for this autoethnographic study. I am putting myself in place of the student.  I will follow the same steps stated above. I will also have my artwork critiqued by art teachers, family and friends. This will allow me to experience critique, understand the process, with all of its hesitations and apprehensions, and reflect on the outcome. These steps are critical for understanding my students actions, reactions, creativity, and problem solving.  And to evaluate if this self-portrait program, bolsters actualized [true] self-image.

This is the penned work of the superhero animal self-portrait (read previous posts to get up to speed).

And this is the colored pencil/colored marker stage:

The final stage will incorporate comic book text, captions and information about the character. This will be posted when completed.

Students gain understanding of initial/foundational drawing (development), drawing with pen and ink (control), working with colored pencils and colored markers (expression), and the final step incorporates Photoshop (execution).  Goal: Developing diverse skill sets in students. 

So In Response...

So in response to my previous post, I began thinking about self-portraiture and the varied ways I have introduced this subject to my students.  There are many method for tackling this subject. One way is through assemblages.  Joseph Cornell used found objects, placed purposely within boxes to exemplify "self" and "others." Abstraction is a great way to move around the "representation" of self, but for my research I am going to stay within the confines of drawing.  Three modes: metaphor (animal-superhero), distorted "fun house" face, and realism.

Upon reflection of the three approaches to self-representation, I felt that the superhero animal (metaphoric) approach the best ice breaker. In this assignment to myself, I had to research the animal, research comic book heroes, and write up an identity for my character.  The identity incorporates superhero stuff, animal characteristics, but also personal things about myself.  It also addresses my self perception. This is a great way to start; it allows for moments of humor, alongside creativity in rendering the animal/superhero. It gave me a moment to think on my "superhero" favorite as a child.  I loved Wonder Woman. She is beautiful, strong, and has brown hair.  It seems most women are represented with long, flowing blonde hair.  She also has the lasso of truth (truth being everything), and she has an awesome invisible plane. So I am Wonder Woman (of sorts) in my superhero persona.

K. Hsieh (2012) posited, "If we [educators] provide students with a meaningful learning experience and knowledge, they will learn effectively, engage actively, and think critically" (p. 46). Art Education publication.

I also thought about animals.  I love apes, chimps, and monkeys. But I didn't feel they represented me or at least the perceived me.  I thought about the Hippo.  No kidding–the hippo.  They are big, love the water, can be fast for short sprints, aren't really social (solitary animals), are generally looked upon as cute and friendly; after all, they give free rides to birds.  But in actuality they are ferocious. Wow, I found my animal.  All of my life, I have been seen by others as a push over (I'm not really-just quiet). I yearned to be ferocious if necessary, but lacked the understanding of timing.  Hippos go along with the flow but will rock and even turn over the boat if necessary.  Issues, life issues, confidence issues, body image issues...a bundle of issues, that's me in a nutshell. So I am confronting those issues by presenting myself in a larger than life animal representation with a childhood superhero persona. 

Rough draft: (initial pencil drawing):

This Is What I'm Talking About...

Great quote: V. Grube (2012) posited, "If you are not truthful to the world about who you are and what you are, your art will stink of falseness" (p. 41).  This is what I am talking about.  As an artist and educator, if I do not research and push myself to understand my personal apprehensions toward self-portraiture in my own work, how can I expect commitment from my students? How can I help alleviate reluctance or fear experienced by my students if I am not willing to expose myself to the same analysis, critique, and process? I must–I do not want to stink of falseness!  According to K.L. Cummings (2012), "The introduction of [self] portraiture is overwhelming and intimidating for many students" (p. 20). –NAEA Art Education publication.

Concept Map

This is my Concept Map for my research. As you can see, it is very cyclical (good or bad?).

And this is the finalized version of my previously posted rough of my Model Design.  Both of these processes are taken from J. A. Maxwell's, Qualitative Research Design: An Interactive Approach.

Day One: Freaking out! What is my thesis? What is important to me? How will I substantiate my findings? OMG!

Day Two: Although this is posting on Day Three, this is my "brainstorming session" on day two. I am pleased with the direction for my study as a result of this exercise.  Happy camper!

Day Three: Constructing a Design Model - Rough...

This rough includes five components and is based on the model found in Qualitative Research Design: An Interactive Approach, written by Joseph Maxwell.  The five components are Research Questions, Goals, Conceptual Framework, Methods, and Validity. 

Take note: drawings/artwork to follow later as I develop my thesis.